miscellany monday

[uno.] vertigo.

i have been dealing with bouts of this for a long time. web md definition is "a feeling that you or your surroundings are moving when there is no actual movement. you may feel as though you are spinning, whirling, falling, or tilting. when you have severe vertigo, you may feel very nauseated or vomit. you may have trouble walking or standing, and you may lose your balance and fall. "

boy is this ever a true definition.  friday night we double dated with another officer and his wife.  i am no stranger to car sickness, so i took my scopace about thirty minutes before go time.  well no sooner than we got started, the carsick feeling started.  it lasted all the way to jackson.  while we were walking around the stores, it subsides, so i chalked it up to the ride over.  well as soon as we walked into chile's (my faaaavvvorite restaurant) the nausea hit again.  i didn't even get to eat my food..ugh.. this pattern continued for the entire weekend.  needless to say, i didn't enjoy my weekend very much.

[dos.] 2ww, af, dh, ivf, art, awol, ba, bcp, bfn, bfp, bw,cd,cm, fet,hcg,hsg...and so on and so forth..

these abbreviations are taking over my brain.  i dream about them at night and i can blurt them out at a moment's notice.  as a matter of fact i am pretty sure that i am getting on my co worker's nerves with them.  but today, i realized that i really don't care.  i don't care what any of them think about it, how inconsiderate they are towards my feelings about it, or how little they actually understand about it.  i am doing this for me and for my husband.  i am not them.  they did not have to go through all of this to have a child.  they did not have to wonder if god would ever bless them with a child, and while i am on the list of things they didn't have to do, they never had to watch their husband fight for his life, which inevitable led to the infertility.  i am not in the mood to be at work today. obviously.

[three.] conceptions and misconceptions.

my newest read.  i just started it so i can't really tell if i am going to like it yet, but it had good reviews and it is written kind of like a text book. boring, i know, but i need something informative.  i am trying to take in as much information as possbile about ivf before i start.  i really would love some more suggestions so if anyone has read any good books relating to ivf, please inform me!